Odd Friends

Shuhei placed the jugs of sake down before letting himself fall heavily onto the couch. He felt stressed, wanting to argue for his independence, but at the same time feeling he couldn't argue with his superiors. Taking a deep breath, he turned on the heater and placed a bottle to heat, slouching against the couch in an unusual display. "I had good news to share and now I'm trying to figure out why the captains are babying me. Have my skills slipped? I know Grimmjow is right about me being stressed, but I can't help feeling like they're looking down on me when they do this. I know that's how Grimmjow feels about how Byakuya was treating him." He knew Rangiku was listening to his ramble, even without looking at her.

"But while Grimmy sees it as an insult coming from Byakuya. he intends it as caring for you," Rangiku said, flopping on the couch beside him. "He really does love you, huh? Have you told him how you feel?"

Shuhei paused, remembering everything that had happened between them and his head started spinning from the rush of it. "Believe it or not, he told me first," Shuhei admitted. Sitting up, he took the bottle from the tray, taking a swig, grimacing, and putting it back, judging it to be too cold. "It surprised me so much to hear it from him, and I had actually been telling myself he couldn't feel the same way, that I didn't believe him when he said it. I completely freaked out that night." He paused as he connected other memories with it. "That was actually Valentine's Day," he said with a smile, turning to his friend. "He went through the trouble of looking up the human holiday and what it was about and set up a surprise date." He laughed, remembering it. "He's so cute when he tries to do something he's not used to. He tries to act like he's still on top of everything but his eyes are so afraid, it's so adorable. I wish you could have seen it."

His eyes were lit up with excitement, his smile wide before he realized he was working himself up. Reeling in his reactions, he sobered himself a little, clearing his throat and doing his best to ignore his blush. "Sorry, I don't mean to talk so much. Feel free to stop me at any time."

"Aww that's adorable! No please carry on," Rangiku replied doe eyed. "Its nice to see some love left in this world," she said quietly, the light in her eyes dimming suddenly. Then she visibly shook herself. "What did he plan for the date?" She asked with false cheer.

Shuhei's smile died at the hurt in his friend. She was still upset over Gin. "Rangiku, you don't have to look far to find love, you clearly still have it for him." He touched her arm to show his support. "I know he's still important to you, but he's been dead for a long time now. I don't think this is healthy for you: using me to cheer yourself up, trying to live by pushing others to do what you wish you could do. There has to be something I can do to help you move on."

"There is no moving on from something inside of you, you just learn to live with it as a part of you," She said remorsefully. "He was my life, all of it. And now with him gone its just filling time. At least you make it interesting! I'm lucky to have a friend like you."

Shuhei gave a sad smile, wishing he could do more for her. "I do my best," he said with a sigh. "We had steaks for dinner. He'd never had real food before, let alone something cooked. I got to cook for him and he loved it." He blushed again, taking the sake again, happy with the temperature this time. He placed another bottle on as he took a sip, passing the rest to Rangiku. "We might have done more after dinner, just a little more. That would make three in the time it took us to have one date." He couldn't help the grin that overcame him at that. "I can't help myself around him. You have no idea how hard it was to work with him after the first time."

"Sounds romantic to me." Rangiku replied. "Why would it be awkward, you've always had a tension between you. I doubt anyone would have even noticed a difference."

Shuhei dropped his head into his hands, getting lost in his memory again. "I-He... But-" he tried, not able to finish his scentence. Finally giving up on making a decent sentence, he just let himself explode. "He blow my friggin' mind, okay? He rocked my world at a point when I was so desperate for it and I couldn't see him without..." He strained in his frustration, throwing himself back against the couch. "His hands and his voice and his smell were all driving me to insanity. I couldn't do my work at all. And the entire time I was sure I was just losing it and he was just humoring me like Tousen did. I was just waiting for him to drop me and he didn't and I can't take the feelings this is filling me with." Laying back, he looked at Rangiku, feeling sadness water his joy down, knowing she should be as happy as he was.

"Its hard to believe sometimes, but love defies all the laws of physics." She replied sagely. "Just because you're up, doesn't mean your going to come down. And even if you do, it's the best fall of your life. Try not to be afraid, if you're going to get hurt its going to hurt just as bad if you expect it or not. You might as well enjoy this fully now and deal with what comes when it comes. Who knows you might be one of the lucky ones who learn to fly, and never have to come down." She toasted the memory of her own 'flight' and savored the dry burn as it slid down her throat.

Shuhei felt his emotions getting to the better of him, the little sake in him working with his distressed state to make him more sensitive. Grabbing the sake off the burner, he took a large gulp of the luke-warm alcohol, putting it back to finish heating after. "God damn, you really know how to get me to cry." He took a deep breath to bring himself back to a level he could control. "I've been a mess of emotions recently. I'll do my best to enjoy my time with Grimmjow to the fullest, okay?"

"Just live in the moment, It'll come naturally."

Shuhei smiled, feeling cozy and warm, wrapped up in good feelings. Taking the sake again, he lazily drank, think time not pushed by stress. "I want to get wasted off my ass tonight, okay? I'm feeling good and I'd like to end the night without thinking about anything bad, so let's just get shit-faced." He took another swig, knowing he should probably slow down, but he didn't want to. "What's been going on around soul society while I've been working?"

"Well, I did hear a rumor that Shunsui Kyoraku was behind the alley near squad 8's barracks with Jushiro Ukitake," Rangiku said slyly. "I tried to get some details out of Nanao, but you know what a prude she can be when it comes to her captain. All I can figure is a good roll in the hay would do Jushiro some good; maybe I'll actually get a blush out of him next budget meeting."

Shuhei couldn't help laughing, imagining that. "You're such trouble!" Holding his sides, he tried to contain himself but was losing his control and was surprisingly happy about it. "They have known each other for quite a while; I think they would compliment each other well, though I think Nanao would be hurt if it were true. Captain Shunsui should be more careful, he holds a lot of peoples' hearts in his hands." Shuhei put the bottle to his lips again, surprising himself when he found it was empty. "When did I finish this?" He put in on the table, letting it fall when it lost balance and he put another on to heat, moving carefully so he wouldn't spill it. "Hey, Rangiku, will you tell me when I've had too much?"

"No," Rangiku replied, giggling slightly. "But I'll stop you before you get to the point you might puke on me. Shunsui is aware of her feelings, but what can he do about it? He shouldn't have to change who he is to cater to who someone else wants him to be. If Nanao loved him as much as she thinks she does she would let him be, and go find happiness for herself. Sometimes I think he shows her this side of him just to convince her that they would never work and that she needs to let it go. I mean I know I can't control Gin, though I guess if I had tried things might have been different. But he is who he is, and all I can do is love him for it." She said slurring slightly.

Shuhei hugged her, his face finding her breasts without meaning to. "It's so hard to find someone and actually reach a balance. I wish everyone could just magically find the person they love and just fit with them perfectly forever," he slurred in a drunken sadness. "I almost F***ed up what I have with Grim because I couldn't get over being hurt by everyone else I've been with. It's not his fault, and he's going out of his way to love me. I'm such an ungrateful bitch," he sobbed, his emotions bouncing. The strict control he kept on his exterior emotions was gone, leaving him to bounce between his feeling without restraint.

"Yeah but what did you learn from all that? Sure it sucks, and its painful, but that heart-break also teaches you how to be the best for the one you're meant for," She said, cuddling him deeper to her chest and resting her head on top of his. "I just got lucky I guess, with all the problems we have had, I've always known that Gin loves me. It's not as easy as it looks though, it takes a lot of communication, and most of all, acceptance. He's a secretive bastard, and I just have to get used to that." She then paused pensively and her heart broke a little more as she thought out loud. "I guess I don't anymore though, he's really gone. I just keep pretending that he's just away, like he would when he went off for weeks. Sometimes I wake up at night, thinking that I hear him sneaking into my room, bringing me back a persimmon and trying to convince me that he was gone for so long to get it for me."

Shuhei listened, holding her tighter as she came to her own realization about her problems. Turning from dramatic to silent, Shuhei's tear ran down his cheeks and onto her chest, truly despairing for her. "I'm so sorry, I wish I could make it better. Please, just remember I'm here for you, even I can't replace him. I'm not even close on that, but I won't leave you to suffer alone."

"Most of the time I just want to forget. Forget that he's not coming back, forget that he ever left, forget he was ever here. You know, he never left me anything behind, like he didn't want me to remember," she said, ignoring the tears trickling down her face, breathing slowly and deeply to keep from sobbing. It's bad enough Shuhei saw this much, she couldn't bare it if just anyone saw her sobbing in a bar like a jilted drama queen.

Shuhei felt water dripping onto his head and knew Rangiku was crying, but he didn't look at her, letting her think he didn't know. Closing his eyes, he took a breath to steady his emotions before he spoke. "There are a lot of things that people wish they could forget, but they are part of what make us who we are. Messing with nature is a bad science, and it always comes back in a strange way. I've seen too many of Captain Kurotsuchi's experiments to not know that playing with the body and mind can lead to interesting results."

"It can't be any worse than it is now," she replied in a flat empty tone. "Has he ever done something like that before; could he make me forget?"

Shuhei stopped, realizing he'd put an idea into her head. Sitting up, he looked into her eyes, concern and determination in his expression. "Rangiku, no, I know you're feeling desperate, but it's never wise to trust Captain Kurotsuchi with your health. There have to be other things you can try, but to trust him would be like putting a snake in your bed and hoping not to get bitten." He took her hands in his, holding them as he tried to undo what he'd done. "Please, promise me you won't even think of asking him to try something like that. I know you're seen what happens when he plays with someone's body, I don't want to see him play with your mind."

"Hehe, no worries, I know better than to ask Kurotsuchi for help," she replied ruefully. "But I wonder if Urahara has any tricks up his sleeve? You know, the human world always has neat stuff like that," she said, regaining control over herself as her hope grew larger than her despair. Hope that there might be something more than just the temporary relief of distraction and sake to take away this dead feeling inside. It wasn't even sadness, that word held too much emotion for this feeling. It was like the dull absence of love where you expect it to be. Like if you had an arm removed and could still feel it there gripping the drink in front of you only to find your lips touching empty air. That's all her love was now, empty. . . gone.

Shuhei should have felt some relief at that, but he didn't. Knowing Urahara wouldn't hurt her like Kurotsuchi would should have put him at ease over this, but too much of his brain cried out against the idea for him to feel okay. Still, the hope shining in her eyes where unending pain had been moments before was enough for his will to bend and he sighed submissively. "I don't like this, Rangiku, but if you need it, I'll help. I'll make sure you don't go alone, in case something goes wrong. Just tell me when you want to see Urahara and I'll come with you, alright?"

"Now." She replied suddenly, almost without thought. "If I wait I might chicken out, or get distracted, or do something even more stupid. I can't keep living like this, and I don't want to risk loosing my nerve. Do you think Grim would be okay with you going with me? I appreciated the support, but I know how possessive he is, though I can't for the life of me figure out why you tolerate it so much. But still, can we go, please?" She asked with pleading sad eyes and the remnants of tears still leaving trails on her now pale cheeks.

Shuhei only lasted two seconds before he caved to her pleading look. "Grim will be fine with it," he said, glancing at his captain. The man was still caught up with his paperwork, def to their conversation. "I'll call him when we're done and we can meet up after. I don't know how long it's going to take him to finish it, anyway." Trying to stand, he swayed, the alcohol hitting him all at once and he almost fell back down. Stumbling to the counter, he discretely wrote a note to Grimmjow, asking that he lock the bar before he left. Shuhei turned to Rangiku, still a little unsteady. "I think we should get a cab." He was about to head to the door when he thought of Grimmjow again, turning to look at the man longingly. He wanted to kiss him goodbye, but knew it would distract him from his paperwork. "Can you bring the spare sake over here?" He asked, knowing she was far steadier drunk than he was.

"I already packed some in my bag while you were staring longingly at grimmy-buns," she said with false cheer, already shaking herself out of that brief overly emotional state. Noting the sway to Shuhei's steps, she added, "that sake hit you pretty hard, have you had dinner?"

Shaking his head, Shuhei leaned back against the bar, trying to get used to his state of mind. "I don't usually get to eat until late, especially when there are a lot of people here. I can't believe I didn't think of that before I started drinking," he laughed. "I thought I could leave some for Grim, for when he finishes, but we can just go if you want it all."

"There's really not much left," she said with a smirk. "He wont notice it's gone, anyway. Lets pick up a bite after, I want to get this over with and the only way you're going to go for it is if you're hammered. Funny that's how I talk you into a lot of things," she added as the walked to the door and out into the softly misting rain.